Authentic Leadership in Remote Teams: Lessons from the Trenches
After spending a year as an engineering lead before returning to an IC role, I’ve been reflecting on what makes remote leadership work. While I’m now happily back to being more hands-on with code, the lessons I learned about leading distributed teams stick with me. Much of this wisdom came from observing my own leader over the past four years, who exemplified these principles whether she realized it or not.
It’s More Than Just Empathy - It’s Sonder
We often talk about empathy in leadership, but I’ve found that “sonder” - the profound realization that everyone has their own rich inner life and unique experiences - is a more precise way to think about it. As a remote leader, you need to internalize that each team member brings different approaches, backgrounds, and perspectives to their work. This means suspending judgment and taking the time to truly understand where people are coming from before reacting to their decisions.
The Art of Being Present Without Hovering
Remote leadership requires a delicate balance. Be available for your team, but avoid the temptation to micromanage through constant digital presence. This means:
- Don’t call meetings that could be handled through Slack or email
- Trust your team to manage their time and workflow
- Create space for independent work while maintaining open lines of communication
Keeping It Light
Leadership doesn’t have to be all serious business. I’ve found that maintaining a light-hearted atmosphere, throwing in the occasional (but not overdone) pun, and having fun with words and people can transform the remote work experience. It’s about creating those moments of genuine human connection that can sometimes get lost in the digital space.
Embracing the Growth Mindset
Even if you’ve been an engineer for 25+ years, the most valuable asset you have isn’t your individual expertise - it’s the diverse collection of skills and perspectives your team brings to the table. Great remote leadership means:
- Valuing collective knowledge over individual experience
- Remaining open to new approaches and ideas
- Not overemphasizing your own expertise
- Creating an environment where everyone feels their contributions matter
Leading by Example
The best leadership lessons often come through observation rather than instruction. I’ve been fortunate to work under a leader who demonstrated these principles daily. While she might not know the full extent of her influence, her approach to remote leadership has shaped my understanding of what good leadership looks like in practice.
Back to Code
While I’ve since returned to an IC role where I can be more hands-on with code (which I love), I have a deeper appreciation for leaders who can create this kind of environment in remote teams. It’s a unique skill set that combines technical knowledge with a profound understanding of human dynamics.
The future of work is increasingly remote, and the leaders who will thrive are those who can build authentic connections across digital spaces while maintaining the balance between presence and trust, formality and lightheartedness, individual expertise and collective growth.